As a mom of three young boys, I answer probably 400+ questions a day if I include those ridiculous but completely understandable questions like, “Why don’t we eat dogs?” and “Why can’t I marry my cousin Rosie?”
But then there are more serious questions. Whether it’s a stalling tactic or just a quiet time to talk, these usually come out right before bed as I’m almost out the door, “Mom, what happens to our bodies when we die?” or “Mom, is God really real?”
Most evenings I’m completely spent and when those hard questions come out at night, it would be easy to say, “Honey, you don’t need to worry about death.” or “Of course God is real.” It’s hard to explain the realities of life and death and deep spiritual truths to young children, but it is in the early years that their developing minds are exploring and learning exponentially everyday, and it’s at this stage that these foundational conversations are so important.
Our children need us to talk with them. They need us to be real with them and not protect them from all things complicated or sorrowful. My boys have had three great-grandparents die within the past two years. They know about my miscarriage and that the baby stopped growing. They watched a pet die. They hear sad news stories. They have questions, and my immediate reaction is to shield them and not have these discussions. But they need us. And it’s here where our faith comes into action. It’s here where we can tell them about death but confidently explain the hope we have through Christ. We don’t have to have perfect responses and reactions, but rather we need to be perfectly reliant on Jesus to guide us as we lead our children in difficult conversations and circumstances. They’ve seen me cry over my grandfather when he was dying. “Mom, why are you sad if Papaw is going to be with God?” I know why Jesus said we are supposed to have childlike faith. Don’t underestimate what they can comprehend just because they are young. It’s important that they watch us handle our own emotions and be honest with them. Shielding them from earthly sorrow when they are young will not keep the bad out but only stifle them from developing healthy, mature, and faith-filled reactions to hard situations.
Talk to your children. Share your faith with them and be honest.
While it’s possible that I’m being naive and those questions really are just a bedtime stalling tactic, I rather have come to believe that they are pressing questions that his little heart ponders during the day and then spill over at night as he settles down to rest. We will never regret slowing down and teaching our children how to navigate difficult concepts and arrive with confident hope in Jesus.
Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. Hebrews 10:35-36
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6: 6-7
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