Dec 18, 2020
What is the same about them?
“That they are all different.”
It was just a simple question I asked during a math lesson about coins, and I was unprepared for my four year old’s answer. Perhaps he didn’t mean it to be profound as he was just sitting in on his older brothers’ lesson. At first I laughed but then began to think about his answer.
Teacher’s manuals have us viewing comparison and contrast as if we are introducing a new thinking skill, yet all the while most kids are fully aware and can easily discern how they themselves compare and measure up. On one hand, I teach my kids to compare and contrast so they can learn to think critically, yet almost within the same breath, I also tell them not to compare.
With having twins, comparison is amplified. Not only do my boys feel it within themselves, but being the exact same age in the exact same grade doing the exact same things, the inevitable measurements exist whether we are using a ruler during math lesson or arguing over who has the biggest sandwich during lunch.
One of my sons in particular is so wrapped up in comparison that it has stirred within me a prayer. I see his value. I see his growth. I see the potential and quick wit. I also see how in a school setting, he looks at his brother and feels inadequate. And on the flip side, in the common sense realm, he far outperforms his brother and feels pride. He is acutely aware of his weaknesses and strengths and measures his own worth based on others.
We all have comparison tendencies, and some of us entertain them to different degrees. We have those in our lives, past and present, who either help us “You are so talented” or hurt us “Why can’t you do anything right.”
But as I’ve talked with my own son, I’ve begun to realize that my words are not powerful enough to convince him of his worth. And that has caused me to delve deeper into the truth of worth itself. Sure, it would be nice if I could convince him that he’s an amazing kid because I say he is. But that isn’t enough because his value would then be based on my opinion of him. I’m smart because my Mom says I am.
Many of us go through life with our worth wrapped in others’ opinions, and as long as we surround ourselves with loving and encouraging people, we feel good about ourselves. But even surrounded by the best people, we still lack the confidence of knowing the truth. And the truth is, our worth isn’t defined by others. It isn’t even defined by ourselves or our ability. Rather, our value is inherent and comes from our Maker. We are valuable because He created us in His own image and He says we are worthy. Basing our value on anything other than this truth, inevitably puts us on a wavering foundation, for even the smartest brain will one day experience decline and the fastest runner won’t be able to keep up.
My prayer is that my son understands the truth that his worth doesn’t come from how he measures up among others. I pray he doesn’t feel inadequate when he sees others excel and that he doesn’t become proud when he outperforms. I pray all my children thrive in knowing God designed them differently for a purpose and they bring Him glory by excelling in who He created them to be.
And just as my four year old said that the common thing is that they are all different, I pray we all know worth based on our common Creator and not from our differences.
2 Corinthians 10:12 – For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
stillsmallfaith.com 